Welcome to our guest post talking sex and disability with Ginny from My Disabled Sex Life.
Hi I’m Ginny (she/her) I’m 23 and I have hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Osteoarthiritis. I’m on a mission to fight ableism and show the world that disabled people are sexy and deserve pleasure. You can find me @mydisabledsexlife on Instagram.
On my 21st birthday I was sat enjoying a cocktail with my grandma and friends.
“I hate sex” I broke down saying.
Shocked at my admittance my friends comforted me asking why. My grandma has always been the most sex positive person in my life, sharing her stories from nannying in London and her wild romances with my grandad. Once the words had left my mouth, I felt relieved. I began to ask for advice. Why do I not enjoy sex? How can I make it better? A question they all asked was why. I replied “Because I’m disabled”.
I have Ehlers Danlos syndrome and Osteoarthritis and struggled to manage most things in my life. Sex and pleasure were low priority on my list of needs and rights, and this was something I didn’t address until early 2020.
I began researching sex positivity but shockingly there was so little representation for the disabled community. Once I started my journey to understanding how to enjoy sex with my disability, prioritising my pleasure and wants I wanted to scream it from the rooftops!
I am a proud disabled woman and I deserve to love my self and experience sexual pleasure.
There is such a rife stigma around sex and disability. Disabled people are desexualised and infantilised in society and able-bodied people shun the existence of disabled sexual beings. According to this study by Scope, only 5% of able bodied people have dated someone with a disability and many don’t think that people with disabilities can even have sex.
Not only do disability and sexuality go hand in hand but exists on a huge spectrum. Disabled people love, masturbate, have sex, enjoy kink, have sex parties, anything, and everything they want to! In my opinion it’s all about visibility and education.
To change opinion and show disabled people that they can enjoy a full and great sex life is the goal for me.
That’s why I set up my Instagram account called @mydisabledsexlife so I’d have a safe space to share my experiences and talk with like minded disabled sexy baddies.
Embracing sexual pleasure has been an empowering force for my disability and the comments I receive from other people are so lovely. Seeing anyone struggle with how to make sex work for their disability is not ok and my advice to anyone would be know what works for your body.
Touch yourself, find what is pleasurable and don’t apologise for knowing your worth.
There are so many adaptations that can be made to help make sex and pleasure easier for your disability but often it is just about adapting your communication to tell yourself and your partner what your needs are and to without shame prioritise them.
Disabled people deserve pleasure, and I give you permission to start that journey today!
Ginny xo
Tabitha says:
Please do go and follow Ginny on insta - I really love her vibrant, honest and sometimes challenging posts and videos. She has featured Ruby Glow in her reviews -see below- and I was delighted by her assessment (and laughed out loud at moments :D) - use code GINNY for £5 off your Ruby Glow.
In case you missed it - read our guest blog, Keep On Masturbating for Lockdown Libido advice from Sherryl Blu.
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